


Mhaacta Made Them Do It

by ConvenientAlias



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Crack, Elder God, F/F, Ritual Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Sex Magic, Something Made Them Do It, Summoning, Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 15:36:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15489081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConvenientAlias/pseuds/ConvenientAlias
Summary: It all started when Holt got a call from an old woman about a mysterious black hole she could see out her window.“Apparently it’s formed in the middle of the basketball court across the street and it is, I quote, ‘a soul-swallowing void of horror and death’. End quote. Usually I would suspect her to be intoxicated or otherwise in an altered state of mind. However, Terry informs me that we have received several such reports in the past couple hours, so it seems to be worth investigation. I’m counting on you two to see what kind of hole this may be, if hole there indeed is.”“Great,” Rosa said. “I’m an expert at holes.” She strode out, and Amy stammered something about how they would get it done as quickly as possible, sir, before following her.





	Mhaacta Made Them Do It

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thinlizzy2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thinlizzy2/gifts).



It started, like so many precinct stories, with Holt calling Rosa and Amy into his office.

“We have an informant saying she can see a black hole out her window.”

Amy said, “A black hole?” Rosa snorted.

“Apparently it’s formed in the middle of the basketball court across the street and it is, I quote, ‘a soul-swallowing void of horror and death’. End quote. Usually I would suspect her to be intoxicated or otherwise in an altered state of mind. However, Terry informs me that we have received several such reports in the past couple hours, so it seems to be worth investigation. I’m counting on you two to see what kind of hole this may be, if hole there indeed is.”

“Great,” Rosa said. “I’m an expert at holes.” She strode out, and Amy stammered something about how they would get it done as quickly as possible, sir, before following her.

It had been a while since she and Rosa had worked a case together, maybe a couple weeks, and though of course they still saw each other every day, she was still happy for the opportunity to spend some time with her one on one. She grinned as she put on her coat and got her things together to head out.

“What are you so happy about?” Rosa asked.

“You know, working a case together. It’s been a few weeks.”

“It’s only been sixteen days,” Rosa said. “Anyways this old lady sounds crazy. Let’s go.”

As it turned out, the old lady was not crazy, and there was indeed a large black hole in the middle of the basketball court. Whether it was a soul-swallowing void of horror and death remained to be seen.

“We’re going to have to get a closer look at it,” Amy said.

But she didn’t step any nearer, not even into the court. There was black smoke wafting out of the hole and its circumference was seeping black goo onto the court’s cement. It stank of sulfur and rot, and getting closer to it…did not seem like all that excellent of an idea.

“Nuclear waste?” Rosa said, with a frown. “Science experiment gone wrong?” She waved at some smoke as it came closer, but instead of the smoke moving away it curled around her hand. Her eyes widened. “Get this off me.”

Amy said, “Uhh…”

Rosa hit her hand against the chain link fence. Once. Twice. A third time, so violently that the fence came detached from its poles. The smoke scraped away as if it were something solid, and slowly moved past them and into the street.

“That was not normal,” Amy said.

“It’s freaky. Let’s just report that it’s freaky.”

Amy said, “We can’t just report to Captain Holt that we thought the hole was freaky. He’s depending on us for information.” She swallowed. “I’ll get a closer look. Here, is that a jump rope in the corner over there?”

They tied the jump rope to one of the poles on the fence, and the other side of the rope to Amy’s waist. Not that they expected the hole to suck Amy in, but they also weren’t sure that it wouldn’t. Rosa wrapped her legs around the fence as well and held Amy’s hand, and Amy boldly crept closer.

The hole was bigger than it looked. That or it had grown. Either way, she only took two steps from the fence before she was on the edge of it, her shoes squishing into the sticky, rotting ooze. Slowly, she looked down.

There was no dirt or rocks in the hole, and it didn’t really surprise her. Nor was there more slime, or at least, she couldn’t see any shininess to suggest wetness. There was just dark, and dark, and dark, and Amy was about to step away and tell Rosa she couldn’t see anything, maybe take out her flashlight, when she thought she saw something bright. She squinted, and it came into resolution.

She was staring into a pair of bright golden eyes, and they were staring back at her. And though she could make out nothing of the face they belonged to, she felt that the stare was a look of malice.

Abruptly she realized she was screaming. And then Rosa was yanking her back, away from the hole, and they stumbled out of the basketball court and she was huddled in Rosa’s arms, gasping for breath.

“It was…” She tried to catch her breath. “Oh my God, it was…”

Rosa was staring over her shoulder. “Amy.”

She looked up.

In the street, the cars had stopped moving. A pedestrians who were out stood still as well, some with their hands up in the middle of an animated conversation. Amy looked into the sky, and saw a V of frozen birds.

“Holy shit,” Rosa muttered.

Holy shit.

* * *

 

They went back to the precinct. All down the road, nothing moved. No cars, no people. They had to elbow past a few, and still no reaction. Everything was still and silent.

“This is weird,” Amy whispered.

“Yeah,” Rosa whispered back.

They opened and closed the door to the precinct as quietly as possible, and even its click as it closed seemed much too loud. The precinct, too, was silent. And still.

Terry was at his desk staring pensively at his computer. Looking over his shoulder revealed a cat video, which was paused as if it needed buffering. Boyle and Jake were frozen in the midst of conversation, Boyle leaning over Jake’s desk and Jake’s face stretched into an amused grimace. Hitchcock and Scully at first glance seemed to be asleep, but it was impossible to wake them. Gina was on the phone, fingers mid-text. And, though Amy had half expected Holt to be the exception to this rule, he was in his office with papers in his hands, a frown, and not the slightest movement.

“This is bad,” Amy said. “This is really bad.”

“Yep, this is bad,” Rosa said.

“What do we do?”

Rosa frowned. “I wish Terry were unfrozen. He reads about stuff like this all the time. Nerd stuff.”

“God, I wish I were that kind of nerd. I’m the wrong kind of nerd,” Amy said. “I am not trained to deal with time stopping! And why are we the only people unfrozen? That doesn’t make any sense.”

Rosa said, “Hey. It’s okay.” She took Amy by the shoulders. “We’re going to find a way out of this.”

“But what even is this?”

“I don’t know. We’ll have to investigate further.” Rosa shrugged. “First, I’m hungry. How long has it been?”

The clocks all said it had only been an hour, but they were frozen too. So who knew?

They went to Chili’s. Inside, people were frozen in the middle of eating. Rosa took the wings that one of them had ordered, and Amy stole a few cheese fries. At her insistence they left payment on the customers’ tables.

“Maybe this is a dream,” Amy said.

Rosa said, “Nope. I’m real.”

“Maybe,” Amy said, “it’s your dream then.”

“My dreams are weirder than this,” Rosa said. “And we’d definitely be making out by now?”

“Wait, really?”

Rosa shrugged and took another bite of her wings. After swallowing, she said, “I’m still going to go with a science experiment gone wrong. Maybe some mad scientist tried to time travel and we got caught in the backlash. Stupid mad scientists.”

“It could be something supernatural,” Amy offered.

“Ooh. Maybe.” Rosa’s eyes widened. “Maybe it’s an angry ghost.”

“I…think this is a bit much for a ghost.”

“Don’t underestimate the power of the dead.” Rosa took out her phone. “You know what? I’m going to google it.”

“I’m not sure the internet’s working.”

But Rosa pulled up her Google app and with Amy hovering over her shoulder, she typed in, “What…”

That was as far as she got. As she tried to type further, her letters seemed to backspace themselves. The screen filled with static. Then it resolved into text, but in alphabets Amy didn’t know. One seemed to be Arabic, another some type of Sanskrit. Finally she caught a glimpse of the normal Latin alphabet up in a corner. She grabbed the phone from Rosa (who protested) and squinted to read it.

“H…Hizorh?”

“Hizorh,” Rosa said, pronouncing it differently. She frowned. “What’s a Hizorh?”

“Well, we can’t google it,” Amy said. “Looks like we’re going to have to use the old fashioned method of getting answers.”

“What, we’re going back to the hole to beat up that thing you saw inside it?” Rosa asked. “I think we’re going to need more equipment.”

“No. That…thing doesn’t seem like something we can beat up.” Amy sighed, then grinned. “I mean going to the library! There has to be something.”

“You think there are books on this?”

“There are books on everything,” Amy said. “Reading is a wonderful thing, Rosa.”

Rosa sighed. “Okay.”

“How about I go to the library, and you keep an eye on the precinct? I’m a little bit worried.”

“We shouldn’t split up,” Rosa said.

“It won’t take me long.”

Rosa shrugged. “Okay. Don’t get eaten.”

* * *

 

It was maybe an hour later when Amy staggered back into the precinct. Or maybe a day later—with time stopped, could you even define such a thing? She had one book clutched in her fist (felt guilty about taking it from the library without checking it out, but it couldn’t be helped) and soot clinging to her clothes and face. Except it wasn’t really soot. It was the smoke, and she hadn’t had as much luck as Rosa getting it off.

“You’re right, I should have taken you. I almost got eaten. Or whatever that smoke does.” She coughed. “I saw the hole. It’s gotten bigger. The whole basketball court’s gone, and it’s spreading into the streets.”

“You got something, right?” Rosa asked.

“Yeah. I got something.” Amy held up the book. “Hizhor is a ‘dark god’. Someone must have summoned them in an elder ritual…which is kind of disturbing because that requires human sacrifice. If they’re still alive we’ll have to arrest them later. What’s really mysterious is why they would want to summon Hizhor in the first place, since he’s best known for destroying everything in his vicinity and swallowing your soul.”

“Ew. Gross.”

“But. I know how to stop him.”

“Great. How?”

“Hizhor’s archnemesis is a dark god themed Mhaacta, a god of…well, a lot of things. Fertility? The world in its fullness of time coming to fruition? I don’t understand all of it, but basically if we summon Mhaacta, they should be able to fight Hizhor off.”

“So we’re summoning a dark god.”

“Yeah. I guess so.” Amy put the book down on her desk and sighed. “I was really excited about that like an hour ago but since then I almost got eaten so I’m a bit less psyched now. But it’s okay. Mhaacta doesn’t eat people.”

“How do we summon them?”

Amy bit her lip. “Um.”

“Do we need to kill someone?” Rosa raised her eyebrows.

“No! No. I mean we do need blood, but just a little? And I’m on my period, so. But we also need, uh. Sex?”

“So, we need to use blood and…have sex with each other?”

Amy shrugged. “I mean…unless you have any better ideas?”

Rosa said, “Cool. You’re on your period, so…”

“I can just finger you or do oral or whatever. We only need one orgasm.”

“Cool.” Rosa crossed her arms. “Okay, let’s get started.”

They needed to draw a pentangle first, which they copied out of the book. It didn’t need to be on the floor, so they drew it on the whiteboard in the briefing room in marker. There was no one in there, so Amy thought it was the best place for the sex.

“I mean, we don’t know if they can still see what we’re doing. They could be fully conscious.”

“God, I hope not,” Rosa said with a frown. “That would be really embarrassing.”

“Really? I think we’ve been doing a good job so far.”

“Look, you were gone a long time. I may have done…some things.”

Amy decided not to inquire further.

The blood didn’t really need to be spread, just present, so Amy left a used tampon on the table, wrapped in a tissue because it didn’t exactly put her in the mood. The final ingredient was an offering of food, for which Rosa stole a bag of chips from the break room.

Which left only the sex.

Amy leaned against one of the tables. “So, uh…whenever you’re ready.”

Rosa was sitting on top of one of the tables. She frowned. “You’re nervous.”

“Yeah, well…never summoned a dark god before. Kind of…a lot…”

“Do you not want to have sex with me?” Rosa said. “Because, we could probably make this work with masturbation. Or, you know, we could just fight Hizhor ourselves.”

“We cannot fight Hizhor ourselves.”

“I could do it.”

“We would probably die.”

“I would rather die than force you to have sex with me if you don’t want it,” Rosa said. “And you don’t seem like you want it.”

“I do! I mean, you’re very attractive.”

Rosa got off the table. She squeezed Amy’s shoulder. “I’m going to go find my axe.

* * *

 

She took a moment to gather herself. Then she went to find Rosa. Rosa had found the axe and was sharpening it.

“Rosa. I’m not sending you on a suicide mission.”

“Then you can come with me. We can fight them.”

“Rosa!” Amy grabbed the axe handle and took it away. “We are not dying today. We are having sex.”

“I don’t want to if you don’t want to.”

“I do want to.” Amy put the axe down. “Okay, maybe these aren’t the best of circumstances. But I’ve always thought you’re hot. And using sex as part of a rite to summon a dark god in a ritual that probably hasn’t been used in a few hundred years? Major turn on.”

Rosa raised her eyebrows. “Dude. Your turn ons are weird.”

“Well. A little.” Amy shrugged. “I was being weird because this is all weird. But if you want to, I would love to fuck.”

“Dang. You said fuck.”

Amy bit her lip and smiled. “I can do more than say it.”

“You’re infecting me with your weirdness. This is kind of hot.” Rosa glanced uncomfortably at the squad, still frozen. “Oh God. I hope they can’t see this.”

Amy grabbed Rosa’s hand and pulled her into her arms. “You know what?” she murmured, breath on Rosa’s neck.

“What?”

“I don’t care.”

Rosa shivered. “You creep.”

She leaned back, and took a deep breath. Then she pulled Amy closer and kissed her, hard and wet. Her tongue slipped easily into Amy’s mouth and stroked into it. Amy moaned. One of her hands squeezed Rosa’s back. The other, almost against her will, slipped down to Rosa’s butt.

The ritual was a turn on, yes. But if she was honest, she was always a little turned on by Rosa. And she’d thought about this many times.

They stumbled into the briefing room and Amy shoved Rosa against the wall next to the whiteboard. On top of the whiteboard would have been ideal, but the shelf that held the markers stuck out, and it would have jabbed Rosa in the hips. Rosa was still kissing her, mouthing at her desperately, and Amy moaned. “Fucking Mhaacta,” she said when their lips came apart. “This is the best ritual ever.”

“ _Yes_ ,” Rosa said. “The best dark god we’ve ever summoned. Definitely.”

Her lips were pink and debauched. Amy swallowed. “You look so hot right now.”

“Fuck. Touch me.”

Amy slowly unbuckled Rosa’s belt, then undid the buttons and zipper, which she pulled down slowly. Underneath Rosa was wearing navy boxers. Amy pulled the pants down first, then the boxers. And beneath all that, Rosa’s legs already were wet with arousal, and her clit was already engorged.

“Ooh, so pretty,” Amy said. “You want me to touch that?”

“Fucking tease.” Rosa shifted her hips forward. “Just do it.”

Amy put her hands on the insides of Rosa’s thighs. “Spread your legs.”

Rosa did, widening her stance. Amy knelt. With her hands braced on Rosa’s legs, she kissed Rosa’s stomach right where her short shirt left off and hair began to grow. Then she sucked, never letting her tongue stray much lower. With her hands she stroked the place where leg met groin, feeling the slight wetness there.

“What the hell.” Rosa bucked her hips, but Amy pushed her back, hard, against the wall.

“Mhaacta likes things done right.” Amy sucked on the jutting corner of Rosa’s hipbone. “We wouldn’t want to rush it.”

“I think it’s worth the risk.” Rosa was panting. “We can let the city fall into the pit just—mm _m_!—just…”

Amy sighed, a breath of warm air escaping onto Rosa’s hips. She lowered her mouth a little and flicked her tongue against Rosa’s labias. Rosa yelped, and Amy giggled. “You thought I was so straitlaced.”

“I still do. You’re awful.”

Amy let her lips rest on Rosa’s labias, while her hands kneaded Rosa’s butt. “Aw,” she said, lips moving against skin, “say something nicer, babe.”

“Fuck.”

Amy flicked her tongue out again, but only very briefly.

“Fine. You’re not straitlaced. You’re a sex goddess. Just…”

The real god in this situation was Mhaacta, but Amy didn’t bother reminding Rosa of that. She said, “Good girl,” and she began to lick and suck. Rosa moaned. She put her hands on Amy’s head, but they didn’t fist there. They just trembled. Amy nibbled at her clit, and she let out a curseword.

“I’m close,” she said. “I’m almost there.”

Amy kept going, but gave Rosa a thumbs up. When Rosa’s orgasm hit her, her fingers pressed down hard on Amy’s scalp, and she fell forward slightly. Amy caught her by the hips.

There was a ringing sound in Amy’s ears. As she stood, she felt a hand on her back. She turned, but instead of a person, she saw a pillar of soft, white light.

“Shit,” Rosa breathed.

“Mhaacta,” Amy whispered.

The pillar spoke. It was not in English, but still Amy somehow understood. “You have summoned me, children of Earth, with your demonstrations of love and fullness of fruition. Tell me, what can I do for you?”

“Well, um, you see, uh, your greatness, there seems to be in town a god named Hizhor…”

“HIZHOR.” The voice did not sound exactly angry, but it was not as soft and pleasant as before either.

“If you could beat him up,” Rosa said, “that would be great.”

“MY ENEMY. MY SWORN ENEMY. HE WILL RUE THE DAY HE TRESPASSED ON THIS REALM, WHICH I HAVE CLAIMED UNDER MY PROTECTION. WELL HAVE YOU DONE TO SUMMON ME. NOW YOU SHALL SEE MY RECKONING.”

The pillar of light hummed louder and louder. Then, in a puff of white smoke, it dispersed.

“Cool,” Rosa said. She was still a little out of breath. “So…we just wait?”

“I guess so.” Amy smoothed back a strand of hair. She took out a tissue and wiped off her mouth. “So…good for you?”

Rosa gave her a look, then stalked off to her desk.

* * *

 

When time reset, it was a sudden thing. One minute the precinct was silent except for Amy clicking her pen, the next it was full of discussion and bustle. Amy hurried over to the window. Outside, cars were moving and pedestrians walked.

A tightness in her chest loosened.

Rosa grabbed her arm. “We should go look at the hole.”

“Yeah.”

As they ran out, Jake shouted, “Hey, Rosa, Amy! When did you get here?”

“Duty calls,” Amy shouted back. She saluted right as they closed the door.

The pit was gone, as was the stench. In its place was only a small circle of white marked on the cement, as if someone had spilled ground up chalk. Rosa almost touched it, but Amy stopped her.

“Mhaacta’s a nice god but…”

“Some idiot’s going to touch it eventually,” Rosa pointed out.

Amy shuddered. “Okay. If we must.”

They both touched a fingertip to the ground. Their fingers came away with nothing, not even the slightest residue. But Amy thought her finger at least smelled slightly of honey.

“So, we fixed it,” Rosa said.

“Or it was all a dream.”

“So you being a sex goddess was just a dream, then?”

Amy put her hands on her hips. “Okay, it was all real and the dark gods exist and we stopped an apocalypse. But I definitely blew your mind.”

“Maybe,” Rosa said. She smiled. “Let me know when you’re off your period. We might not summon a dark god again, but…”

Amy grinned. “Sounds like a plan.”

Of course Amy wrote up a full report for Captain Holt and passed it in to him, on top of the book about the ritual. She said, “It turned out to be pretty complicated, sir, but Rosa and I handled it.”

“Hm. Good.” Holt’s brow furrowed. “Is this a library book, Detective Santiago?”

“Yes, and it’s technically not checked out, so when you’ve read the report we should probably get it back.”

“You stole a library book?”

Amy put her hands behind her back. “It’s in the report. I’ll just…go…”

Holt stared at her until she left. Rosa snickered. “You’re still a teacher’s pet.”

Amy slapped a hand on her desk. “I’ll make you pay for that.” She smiled. “Next time.”

Rosa leaned back in her seat, smiling as well. “I’d love to see you try.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a simple person who saw the prompt of sex at the precinct as part of an elder ritual to summon the dark gods and ran with it. Hope you enjoyed :)


End file.
